Sometimes people complain about things and talk about other people behind their back… I know this isn’t a good thing to do as a leader, but I want to fit in. Isn’t it important for people to like you as a leader too?
Unfortunately there will always be some people that are dissatisfied with the order of things and go about it the wrong way by spreading gossip and rumours. Sometimes, this can be targeted at the leader specifically because they are seen as the source of the unfavourable decision, but the truth is that anyone can be the target of poor sportsmanship.
In order to have a good working relationship with your team, you need to find the right style that works for the specific dynamic between you and those you work with. This may be more of a lassez-faire or democratic approach if you would prefer the feeling of ‘fitting in’. Contrary to popular belief, leadership does not mean that you just order people to do as you please! (Maybe that is why you have seen so much dissatisfaction before). It is possible to have a great team effort towards a goal without having total authority and micromanagement over your team members, so long as a culture of mutual respect is fostered from the beginning and everyone feels like their voices have been heard. This means it is far less likely for people to see you or other team members as the source of dissatisfaction as they have had their input and can take some ownership over processes and outcomes.
Best of luck,